January 27th

Hey Family!

This week was a little rough. We had a lot of finding and not a lot of success. But, we did really see a lot of miracles this week. One of them was one of our investigators we have not seen in a long time came in with a few of her friends. She said that she could not stay for long and had to go, but after we asked her how she was doing she started crying right there in front of us in the middle of the chapel building. We took her into one of the room and were able to have a great talk with her. She has been really stressed lately. She has a very demanding job and cannot quit it, because she needs it to pay for both her own schooling and her brother's. We were able to listen to her and say a prayer with her at the end. Listening to her really made me realize yet again how important the Gospel is. Everyone in their life experiences times when it seems like trials are never-ending. The Gospel provides much needed perspective. It reminds us that these times really are a small moment and there are blessing waiting for those who endure them well.

Oh. One more thing. I got a call from the mission president last week and...

I'm going to be double-training! Sister Huang and I are getting a new companion, fresh out of Sichuan, China on Wednesday. She did not even go to the MTC, because she could not get a US visa in time.  

Love you all! Have a great week!!

-Sister Bennion

Mary,

This week was hard. Our investigator pool is low and we spent a lot of the week finding. And we did not have much success with that either. A lot of people just waved us off or are not interested or are "busy". Many of the new contacts we did get are not in our area, which is still okay, because it still building the church, but it still does not help the area my companion and I were given.

Most frustrating of all is the teaching. We met with a couple of our investigators, but I feel like what we are teaching does not hit any of them or make them want to change at all. One of them are still puzzling over the existence of God after the 5th time we have met with him!!  I just feel like I do not understand their concerns and I know that should not matter because it is really the Lord that understands them and the Lord that makes it all work, but I also know that my companion and I have a huge responsibility to teach clearly and to FEEL the Spirit in my lessons, something that I do not feel like I have felt much. I have been out here almost 9 months. I really thought I would be a pro by now. I can understand a lot more of Chinese (thank goodness) , but my speaking is still so-so. I have started waking up 30 minutes earlier than my companion with the Zone Leaders' permission and even then, I do not know what to focus on or what things to improve. It does not seem like there is time in the day for me to improve.   

And. I found out on Saturday that I am going to be training another new missionary from China who speaks no English and did not go to the MTC, because she had visa problems.

Teaching, training, funding, learning, baptizing, training.

And then, you sent me your email.

"Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. thou art careful and troubled about many things. But one thing [only one thing] is [truly] needful.”

Swooooop. Peace. When I read that line from Sister Holland's talk, I remembered that this is not at all about me being able to do everything alone and being able to do it well. It is about me finding the Lord and taking the time to prepare myself and those around me for eternal life. I have really realized on my mission that never before in my life have I kept doing something that I was not good at immediately. I have really been blessed by the Lord in the fact that everything that I needed to do well or wanted to do well has always been within the power of my improvement. I have always prayed and read scripture, but I had never felt a burning urge to. Just as we can't appreciate water until after we have experienced thirst, I cannot become the person I need to be if I am never tried and strengthened. All my life, I have been given all the spiritual and temporal things I needed without work. I really think that the Lord is letting me struggle right now, letting me strengthen my faith. I know I still have a way to go and a lot of trials to face. Like the people of Limhi, the Lord did not see fit to remove any burdens yet. But, I do know that, if I keep my mind and goals centred on the Lord and let Him walk with me, He will give me all I need to become the missionary my investigators need.

I love you. Thank you so much for the email.

-Sister Bennion